COMMUNICATION = BRINGING TOGETHER

TRANSFER OF INFORMATION

ESTABLISHING RELATIONS

Human communication relies on the simultaneous use of different channels

VERBAL

NON-VERBAL

• are very common
• inherent in communication
• it is not always easy to recognise their meaning and be aware of them

Example

A manager says to an employee: "prepare me a written report of the work you have done in the last month".

The employee replies: "I'll do it now!" ....... and simultaneously nods his head

The employee nods in addition to saying "yes" with verbal language

Non-verbal often improves the level of accuracy of the message

Watzlawick, Beavin and Jackson, postulated the existence of certain fundamental properties of human communication.

These properties are called ASSIOMS by the authors, they are taken as the basis for the construction of subsequent theories and do not require demonstration but are assumed to be true.

ONE CANNOT NOT COMMUNICATE

Any behaviour - words, silences, activity or inactivity - has message value and influences other interlocutors who cannot fail to respond to these communications

ALL COMMUNICATION HAS A CONTENT ASPECT AND A RELATIONSHIP ASPECT, SO THAT THE LATTER CLASSIFIES THE FORMER, AND IS THEREFORE METACOMMUNICATION.

This means that the content of a message must be interpreted in the light of the relationship existing between the interacting parties

THE NATURE OF A RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS ON THE PUNCTUATION OF THE SEQUENCES OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN COMMUNICANTS

Our communicative exchanges are not random, an uninterrupted sequence of exchanges is organised by introducing real punctuation.

By observing the conversation between two communicants, one can identify the sequence of who is speaking and who is responding, and one can define what is the cause of a behaviour and what is the effect.

The ways of punctuating a sequence of events are subjective and can generate relationship conflicts that are sometimes difficult to overcome.

Numerical language

Analogue language

Communicating involves the ability to combine these two languages, as well as to translate from one to the other the messages to be transmitted and those received

In both cases it can be difficult to translate these and mistakes can be made in interpretation

Numerical language

• It concerns the use of words, i.e. arbitrary signs due to a convention on the meaning attributed to them
• It is inclusive of an extremely effective complex logical syntax and it is the preferred tool
• Instrument for conveying content, however, it lacks a number of important meanings for relationship

THE WORD ITSELF ONLY EXPRESSES ITS OWN MEANING

Analogue language

• consists of the modes of non-verbal communication
• gestures, facial expressions, voice inflections, the sequence, rhythm and cadence of words, etc., which serve above all to convey aspects concerning the relationship between the participants

ALL COMMUNICATIVE EXCHANGES ARE SYMMETRICAL OR COMPLEMENTARY, DEPENDING ON WHETHER THEY ARE BASED ON EQUALITY OR DIFFERENCE

SIMMETRIC INTERACTION

COMPLEMENTARY INTERACTION

SIMMETRIC INTERACTION

• it is based on equality
• it occurs when the behaviour of one member tends to mirror that of the other
• it refers to exchanges in which the interlocutors consider themselves to be on the same level: this is the case of communication between equals (husband/wife, classmates, siblings, friends...).

COMPLEMENTARY INTERACTION

• it is characterised by the difference in position assumed by the persons between whom the communicative exchange takes place
• sometimes it is the socio-cultural context that establishes relationships of this kind (e.g. doctor-patient, teacher-pupil relationships...)
• these are the communicative exchanges in which the communicants are not on the same level (mother/child, employee/employer)

Styles classification

Passive style

Aggressive style

Assertive style

Message

You are right, it doesn't matter what I think

I am right, if you do not think the same way you are wrong

This is how I see the situation and this is what I think

Aim

Avoid conflict

Getting what you want, winning

Communication and mutual respect

Voice

Sometimes tremulous, flat and monotone, low volume

Very firm, often sarcastic and cold tone, prevalence of high tones

Expressive, clear and calm, intermediate tone

Speech

Hesitant and full of pauses, sudden changes in speed, frequent throat clearing

Fluent, unhesitating, full of guilt-ridden words, often impetuous

Fluent, without hesitation, the emphasis is on the important points of the dialogue, without sudden changes

Facial expressions

Smiles in the face of criticism, often irrelevant to the content of the conversation

The jaws are kept closed and rigid, the smile is often a sneer, the face is shifted forward towards the interlocutor

Smiles in the presence of positive events, anger is visibly expressed, jaws are relaxed

Visual contact

Evasive and irregular, oriented downwards

Dominant, from top to bottom

Steady but not dominant

Body movements

Often sits on the edge of a chair, covers its mouth with its hand, keeps an excessive distance from the interlocutor

Use of the index finger to point at the interlocutor, body projected towards the other, continuous movements, getting too close to the interlocutor

Open and inviting hand movements, relaxed posture, adequate distance to the interlocutor

Features of the verbal message

Passive style

Long and repetitive statements

Constant offer of apologies

Use of sentences that minimise one's own needs

Use of filler words, such as 'MAYBE'

Frequent use of statements such as 'SHOULD'.

Self-pitying phrases such as 'I FEEL SO DOWN'

Frequent justifications

Few statements beginning with the pronoun 'I'

Aggressive style

Excessive use of statements beginning with the pronoun 'I'.

Opinions that are passed off as facts

Threatening questions or sentences

Advice like 'YOU MUST DO THIS'.

Inducing guilt in the other

Use of sarcastic or demeaning sentences

Assertive style

Concise, clear and content-appropriate statements

Use of sentences beginning with the pronoun 'I', or 'I would like to'

Distinction between facts and opinions

Suggestions that are neither constraining nor guilt-inducing

No imperatives such as 'YOU SHOULD DO THIS'.

Constructive criticism without blaming

Questions aimed at understanding each other's thoughts and feelings

Proposal of strategies to solve problems

Costs and benefits of passive behaviour

Benefits

Costs

costs are avoided in the short term

Conflict cannot be avoided in the long run

You get approval and sympathy from others more easily

It is not possible to achieve this result always and with everyone. The consequence is to fall into frustration

Less responsibility is assumed

If the problem lies with the passive person, his disengagement will aggravate the situation

Sometimes one is able to control others through blaming messages

Manipulating and blaming others only produces enmity and conflict

One gradually loses self-esteem because one would like to express one's point of view but is unable to overcome inhibitions

Benefits

Costs

You get results in the short term

In the long run, signs of growing unbearability emerge, producing enmity, boycotting, etc.

There is a feeling of dominance

Loss of self-control

One sees oneself as strong and valued

Unnecessary and dangerous guilt is created

Constructive and destructive criticism

DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

It is aimed at the person, who is labelled negatively

It is addressed to the performance or behaviour of the person

It is inaccurate

It is accurate

It aims at blaming the  person

Aims to improve performance and/or behaviour

Prone to close the  dialogue

Keeping the dialogue open